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The current year represents a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the mainstream. Initially, the concept that someone could instantly end contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. How naive we were. In the decade since, seeking a partner has only become more bewildering – an commonly pointless endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by online jargon.

Generation Z, a cohort who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a widespread assault on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic lexicon has grown longer and more bizarre, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a detailed glossary to the terms Zoomers is using to talk about love, sex and the search of both. To echo one of the recent most viral memes, by the end of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – In the view of Zoomers, romance's gold standard is presenting as your true, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A social media test connected to a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your date's reaction is inquisitive or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while exuding mystery and independence. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This signifies seeking out someone who aids you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would get a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped young adults do budget-friendly dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie excess, it refers to pairs who choose against having children to focus on their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: utilizing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Indicators

• Red flags – Behavioral traits indicating a potential partner is trouble. Such as calling their former partners crazy, poor gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions validate your decision to pursue a mate. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, largely benign quirks. Such as being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same stuff or people that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women’s increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An stereotype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Icks – Random and frequently trivial repulsions that immediately kill any feelings of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful act.

J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers want fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance authentic.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {